Recently I received a message from someone who wanted to exchange their service for my time… so instead of paying my consultancy rate, they were offering to give me their time, and I’d give them mine.
Their message explained how they couldn’t afford to buy an hour of my 1:1 time, as they were experiencing financial challenges right now, but really needed my help.
I do periodically receive messages like this, and the answer is always no thank you.
Now here’s the thing. In the past, I’ve also asked for, and several times received a positive response to a request to, exchanging time or services with mentors I’ve wanted to work with but couldn’t (at that point) afford.
But in the long run it doesn’t work, as at least one of you will begin to feel short changed from the arrangement, or you won’t actually value the expert help you’re getting because it was “free”.
My life changed when I read Denise Duffield Thomas’ book “Get Rich Lucky Bitch” the first time, and what I learned there taught me the real reason why you should not be looking for concessions when finances are tight. I discovered the hidden cost of free – to me and my ability to grow.
The real reason is the language you use when requesting an arrangement that means you don’t trade money for expertise.
It’s the language of lack.
And when you use the language of lack, you’re absolving yourself of any responsibility for your lack of finances. But as with most of what happens to us, the reason you “can’t afford it” is entirely down to you.
Let me explain…
When you ask for favours because you are short of cash, it puts you into a mindset where you believe that you have no control over the amount of money or abundance in your life.
It’s “victim speak”. You are a “victim” of your poor financial position.
Yet even thinking that is the truth will make that the truth. Thoughts become things, remember?
But as a business owner, you ARE in control. If you want money, go create a “no-brainer offer”, start recognising the abundance you already have in your life, and manifest the amount of money you need to invest in the help you need.
And once you change your thinking away from “victim” and into “action” and “gratitude”, abundance will flow into your life from everywhere!
If you haven’t yet read Denise’s book, you can get it here. And while you’re there, buy E-Cubed by Pam Grout too. Do all the exercises in both books, and get rid of any “money stuff” you have laying around inside your psyche.
Ban all “lack speak” from your house. Believing you are in a place of lack that you have zero control over is a habit, and just like any other habit, you’ll need to retrain your brain over time.
You can do it though, I know you can.
And next time you feel yourself blaming your finances for why you can’t do something, stop yourself and switch back into abundance mode. Ask yourself what you can do to make the money you need, and set the intention to get that amount this week.
Have you changed your thinking away from lack and into abundance? When I banned all “lack speak” in our house, we put a few £000’s on our monthly income as a result! Try it yourself and let me know how you get on
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